Ups and Downs
Jan. 8th, 2009 12:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litoteaseRL is being bittersweet. I am being moody and weepy and spacey and withdrawn.
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c8h10n4o2junkie is moving into her very own, very first apartment. It's a little, darling studio with a great deal of (what we will euphemistically call) character. She's very excited, and a little nervous; she's never lived alone, and it's her name on the lease and the utilities.
As for me, well. It's been just the two of us since she was five months old (idiot ex went underground and under the table to avoid all responsibility, financial and emotional; truly his loss). So she has been my constant companion for 25 years. She has also been my wing man, half of the vaudeville act that is (and has always been) the two of us together, my caretaker when I was fighting cancer, my reason for breathing on the bad days, and -- since she turned 18 and decided maybe I was an OK human being after all -- my best friend. She makes me laugh harder and more often than anybody else ever (the ginormous laugh lines I sport -- eyes to chin, guys -- are all her fault). She knows me better than anybody else ever, too.
She's not going far -- less than an hour -- but she won't be here. I'm proud of her, and she needs to live closer to school, and she needs to fly without me, and my heart hurts so hard. I will miss her every day.
So. Time for me to learn how to have an independent life of my own. And on that note, I just registered for Escapade! (OMG, WTF am I doing going to a Con? People SCARE me, people!)
c8h10n4o2junkie is moving into her very own, very first apartment. It's a little, darling studio with a great deal of (what we will euphemistically call) character. She's very excited, and a little nervous; she's never lived alone, and it's her name on the lease and the utilities.As for me, well. It's been just the two of us since she was five months old (idiot ex went underground and under the table to avoid all responsibility, financial and emotional; truly his loss). So she has been my constant companion for 25 years. She has also been my wing man, half of the vaudeville act that is (and has always been) the two of us together, my caretaker when I was fighting cancer, my reason for breathing on the bad days, and -- since she turned 18 and decided maybe I was an OK human being after all -- my best friend. She makes me laugh harder and more often than anybody else ever (the ginormous laugh lines I sport -- eyes to chin, guys -- are all her fault). She knows me better than anybody else ever, too.
She's not going far -- less than an hour -- but she won't be here. I'm proud of her, and she needs to live closer to school, and she needs to fly without me, and my heart hurts so hard. I will miss her every day.
So. Time for me to learn how to have an independent life of my own. And on that note, I just registered for Escapade! (OMG, WTF am I doing going to a Con? People SCARE me, people!)