Ups and Downs. With Lots of Italics.
Jul. 21st, 2007 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litoteaseIt's been a weepy week.
I'm having a mastectomy on Wednesday, home on Thursday. The 6-year-old me that lives in my head is pissed as shit, wants to clutch my right tit and say "No! It's mine! You can't have it!" I want to get into my car, and drive, and drive, and drive away....
And -- life in the good ol' U.S.of A. -- while I'm grieving, I'm at the same time flipping out about money and co-pays and deductibles versus, oh, rent, and Fall Semester tuition and books for my kid. (She says she'll hurt me if I don't fill the damn post-surgery Vicodin prescription, just to save money. But: $250 out-of-pocket prescription deductible v. rent!) On the other hand, I want to kiss the toes of my Union Rep. I work retail, but I'm union retail (UCFW Local 101 pride, babies!), and under our collective bargaining agreement, if I'm not working because I can't work, my medical benefits will be extended for up to a year. So if chemo makes me too sick to stand on my feet for 8 hours a day (likely), I won't lose my medical insurance just when I need it the most. I am very, very grateful for this.
Also, I keep worrying about my cat. He's a big cat, a cuddle-bug and an attention whore, who believes that the right side of my chest is his personal kingdom and rightful pillow. If I'm sitting down, odds are he's sitting half on my shoulder, half on my boob. If I'm laying down, he's laying across my chest. If I won't pick him up, he'll jump or crawl his way up. We've been playing this game for 7 years. I don't know how I'm going to keep him down/off while my incisions heal. He won't understand.
Side Note RE Medical Bill Worries: If you haven't already, go. see. SiCKO. Please. I want to marry Michael Moore and have his babies. I also want Hook-a-Canuk to be real. (Bonus! The Hook-a-Canuk Dating Service Vid. Also, synchronicity -- I just clicked over to get the vid link, and noticed that there's a UCFW vid on the same page that wasn't there before. HA!)
And -- life in the good ol' U.S.of A. -- while I'm grieving, I'm at the same time flipping out about money and co-pays and deductibles versus, oh, rent, and Fall Semester tuition and books for my kid. (She says she'll hurt me if I don't fill the damn post-surgery Vicodin prescription, just to save money. But: $250 out-of-pocket prescription deductible v. rent!) On the other hand, I want to kiss the toes of my Union Rep. I work retail, but I'm union retail (UCFW Local 101 pride, babies!), and under our collective bargaining agreement, if I'm not working because I can't work, my medical benefits will be extended for up to a year. So if chemo makes me too sick to stand on my feet for 8 hours a day (likely), I won't lose my medical insurance just when I need it the most. I am very, very grateful for this.
Also, I keep worrying about my cat. He's a big cat, a cuddle-bug and an attention whore, who believes that the right side of my chest is his personal kingdom and rightful pillow. If I'm sitting down, odds are he's sitting half on my shoulder, half on my boob. If I'm laying down, he's laying across my chest. If I won't pick him up, he'll jump or crawl his way up. We've been playing this game for 7 years. I don't know how I'm going to keep him down/off while my incisions heal. He won't understand.
Side Note RE Medical Bill Worries: If you haven't already, go. see. SiCKO. Please. I want to marry Michael Moore and have his babies. I also want Hook-a-Canuk to be real. (Bonus! The Hook-a-Canuk Dating Service Vid. Also, synchronicity -- I just clicked over to get the vid link, and noticed that there's a UCFW vid on the same page that wasn't there before. HA!)