For Anyone Who Might Come Calling

[litotease]

Hi, my name is Grace, and I'm a lurker.

I've been lurking around online, following one fandom to another (in alpha order: Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, Dead Zone, due South, Farscape, Firefly, Highlander,House, Hard Core Logo, Lord of the Rings, Man from U.N.C.L.E., The Sentinel, Smallville, Star Trek: TOS, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG1) for six or seven years. Currently, I'm so in love with Supernatural that I'm reeling.

I'm a slasher. And an OTP whore^{1, 2}. I loves me some Wincest. Even the wee!cest (I'm pretty sure that most of us lost our cherry before we were of legal age -- I was 17, and that was late in my crowd -- so anything post-prepubescent is fine with me).

I don't write (I'm tempted, on occasion, but I'm terrified I'd be -- not bad, but mediocre, which I think is even worse). I don't icon (at the moment -- single mom with a kid in college -- I can't justify spending money on decent graphics software, which leaves me with Paint), I don't vid (although I've been wanting to learn, and I do have MovieMaker, and some of you vidders out there might be hearing from me...).

What I do do (don't say it, Jensen) is read. A lot. Since I was 4 and was sent to live with my grandmother the former English teacher. The Cat in the Hat to The Happy Hollisters to the Trixie Belden books (I liked Trixie way better than Nancy Drew, but I may have been the only one since nobody else I know has ever heard of her) to Jane Eyre to Left Hand of Darkness and Lord of the Rings. I love a well written story.

And some of y'all out there write so well and wonderfully that it hurts my heart.

I set up this LiveJournal so that on the very, very rare occasions when I do leave feedback, there would be a name attached.

I don't leave feedback often. Sometimes, I feel really bad about this. Sometimes, when a new fandom kerfluffle kicks up (and they do), I'm really glad I'm watching from a distance.

Still, some of you have really enriched my life. Art, icons, music mixes, vids, and some of the most beautiful, heartbreaking, breathtaking, literate fiction I've ever read (Freedom's Just Another Word, anyone?). So, in the spirit of spn_appreciate, I'm gonna try to do better at letting y'all know.

Oh, also? I'm an old broad -- like half a century old. I do worry -- particularly in Supernatural since it's a really young fandom on the whole -- that the idea of a middle-aged woman perving on the Padackles or whatever is going to squick some of you (I think it would have bothered me back when I was 20). But it doesn't bother my kid, c8h10n4o2junkie, who's a 2nd generation slasher³, so I guess y'all can deal.

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¹Re: OTPS, I'm kind of funny, though. I don't mind if they sleep with someone else, or have group sex, or any other not-OTP permutation as long as it doesn't interfere with the primacy of the OTP. See Kissing, pt 2 (SGA) or Wicked (MfU) for example.

²I don't have slash OTPs for BSG or FS, as I'm really happy with the canon het relationships. As for the others: Spike/Xander, Johnny/Walt, Fraser/Ray K., Mal/Simon, Mac/Methos, House/Wilson, Joe/Billy, Boromir/Faramir, Napoleon/Illya, Jim/Blair, Clark/Lex, Kirk/Spock, John/Rodney, and Jack/Daniel.

³Honest, I didn't let her know what I was reading until she was 18!

Comments

[lily-liedtome.livejournal.com]

Of course!

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

c8h10n4o2junkie is my favorite person on the planet, and the one who's opinion I respect most. She's also my daughter, and I will maintain 'till the day I die that she popped out of the womb more grounded than I will ever be. She's 2 months away from her 24th birthday.

For years, I've been shocked by the number of people who will in conversation ask me what her school or life plans are while she's standing right beside me. 'Cuz, she's just a kid, right? Couldn't possibly be making her own decisions. (Good Lord, she's been making them since she was 18.) Argh.

Me? I was in a store in San Francisco last Summer, one of those little ones that has it's own stereo system, and OMG, the CD they had on was amazing. I asked the salesgirl who was playing, and she looked at me funny. "They're really wonderful," says I. Now she's skeptical. "Really. I like them a lot. What's their name?" I think she was really and truly blown away by the idea that some matronly, middle-aged woman might actually be grooving on Death Cab for Cutie. Argh, again.

Ageism -- and the preconceptions that come with it -- at either end of the spectrum sucks. One of the most literate, artistic, visually stunning fan vids I've seen in the Firefly fandom was done by someone I'm told was 16 at the time she made the vid.

(Apparently, I can't make a point without telling a story. If only I could tell fictional stories. *Sighs*)

[lily-liedtome.livejournal.com]

Exactly!

Age =/= knowledge.

When you put it like that, ageism reminds me very much of sexism (and other -isms) - that assumption that a person is lesser because they are not what you are (and therefore cannot possibly communicate on your level).