Well, Fuck Me.

[litotease]

It's cancer. Surgical consult Monday afternoon. Further testing being done on the sample to determine what kind it is, how aggressive it is, and whether or not they'll want to do radiation/chemo/hormone therapy afterwards.

Still, knowing for sure is way better than the waiting and wondering and wild mood swings between optimism and terror of the last few days. Plus I'm a tough old bird, I'm at my best in a crisis, and this ain't yet the end of the world.

topaz119, logovo, lily_liedtome, katesnotes, and bluevsgrey, thank you guys so much. Every time I've felt wigged out or teary since Tuesday, I've pulled up something to read from the lists you left (I'm treating them like a Chinese Menu -- one from Column A, one from Column B...). It really, really helped.

Bless y'all. :)

Comments

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry to hear this. God. Hope all goes well with the treatment ::hugs::

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the support. I'll take all the hugs I can get.

And even though I've mostly reverted to my lurkerish ways, I'm glad to have you on my friends list. Your posts always make me smile. (Your icons,too. Even [especially?] the bird one.)

:)

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I will use it again just for you ::snuggles::

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

You're more than welcome; favorite fic is a simple enough thing to provide. I'm very glad it helped. I'm so sorry the news came back the way it did; good thoughts and hugs coming your way (someone once told me that fandom hugs groove to their own Jamaican vibe and I've pictured Marley-esque vibes dancing over the ether ever since. um, yeah. *koff*. YMMV.) If it helps to vent here, I'll be happy to listen.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

LOL at the mental image of dancing Jamaican fandom hugs! I like it, mon.

The good thoughts and hugs make me smile, thank you. I'm sending some right back your way. (Doing this once was a bitch. Doing it annually? Argh!)

I haven't decided how much venting I want to do in my LJ. I meant it to be a fannish space, not a breast cancer place, and I'm kind of leery of scaring people off, y'know? On the other hand, my daughter and I are each trying to be strong and stoic and upbeat for the other, and if this turns out ugly (which it may not, I'm still waiting [argh! again] for more information), I might need a safe place to say "Christ on a crutch, I'm scared" once in a while.

In the meantime: The Midas Syndrome -- you're right, perfect Jack. *grins* Ghosts and Lovers -- OMG, she gives great sexual tension *fans face*. WooHoo! (Off to read more fic....)

[bluevsgrey.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

*Hugs back*

Thanks, I needed that.

:)

[bluevsgrey.livejournal.com]

:)

[katesnotes.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, still I'm sure you are right and it is better to know. Good luck and my best wishes to you. I'm glad you liked the links - I hope they continue to be helpfully distracting.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

Thank you, for both the good wishes and the optimism. You're a doll.

(QED was darling, and I've already found some good new authors in old favorite fandoms via Polyamourous. Thanks for that, too!)

:)

[lily-liedtome.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just saw this! I am so sorry. *hugs* I do hope you are doing alright (and continue to do so). I'm glad the links were helpful. As someone said above, feel free to vent here, I'm always happy to listen :)

*wills you strength and luck luck luck*


Beth

[logovo.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you today.

Hope you are enjoying some nice fic.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

I haven't logged in for days, so I just got this post.

Thank you. It made my day.

(I think I'd be losing my mind without the fic. Really. Fandom rules!)