Well, Fuck Me.

[litotease]

It's cancer. Surgical consult Monday afternoon. Further testing being done on the sample to determine what kind it is, how aggressive it is, and whether or not they'll want to do radiation/chemo/hormone therapy afterwards.

Still, knowing for sure is way better than the waiting and wondering and wild mood swings between optimism and terror of the last few days. Plus I'm a tough old bird, I'm at my best in a crisis, and this ain't yet the end of the world.

topaz119, logovo, lily_liedtome, katesnotes, and bluevsgrey, thank you guys so much. Every time I've felt wigged out or teary since Tuesday, I've pulled up something to read from the lists you left (I'm treating them like a Chinese Menu -- one from Column A, one from Column B...). It really, really helped.

Bless y'all. :)

Comments

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

You're more than welcome; favorite fic is a simple enough thing to provide. I'm very glad it helped. I'm so sorry the news came back the way it did; good thoughts and hugs coming your way (someone once told me that fandom hugs groove to their own Jamaican vibe and I've pictured Marley-esque vibes dancing over the ether ever since. um, yeah. *koff*. YMMV.) If it helps to vent here, I'll be happy to listen.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

LOL at the mental image of dancing Jamaican fandom hugs! I like it, mon.

The good thoughts and hugs make me smile, thank you. I'm sending some right back your way. (Doing this once was a bitch. Doing it annually? Argh!)

I haven't decided how much venting I want to do in my LJ. I meant it to be a fannish space, not a breast cancer place, and I'm kind of leery of scaring people off, y'know? On the other hand, my daughter and I are each trying to be strong and stoic and upbeat for the other, and if this turns out ugly (which it may not, I'm still waiting [argh! again] for more information), I might need a safe place to say "Christ on a crutch, I'm scared" once in a while.

In the meantime: The Midas Syndrome -- you're right, perfect Jack. *grins* Ghosts and Lovers -- OMG, she gives great sexual tension *fans face*. WooHoo! (Off to read more fic....)