(no subject)

[litotease]

c8h10n4o2junkie is filling out transfer apps, and in the fall she will be sailing off to a 4-Year school.  Her first choice schools are in British Columbia and Boston, both far away from our California home.  I am incredibly proud of her.  At the same time, she has been my closest and best companion for 24 years.  And every decision I've made in those years, good or bad, from "Where should I work?" to "Should I buy this shirt?" has had can you take care of her? at it's core.  I'm feeling a little lost and flail-y.

In preparation for her flight from the nest, we will be moving soon.  I can't keep our current apartment when she leaves (the two of us together qualify for a low-rent apartment that I won't qualify for alone, but I also can't afford Bay Area rent on my own).  Friends of ours who were looking for a new housemate have decided that the solution is to take both of us in until she's ready to go, so that they can keep me when she's gone (they're giving up their office-cum-crafts room for six months to make room for two).  While I am pleased, and tickled that they want me, it will also be the first time in 24 years that the roof I'm living under isn't mine, and I will no longer have a home for c8h10n4o2junkie to come home to.  Again, a little lost and flail-y.

But that's not actually what this post is about.

It's more about these things being things I want to talk about.  Plus a whole lot of other personal identity things that I haven't looked at for almost a quarter of a century, because my primary identity has been MOM.

I'm not sure that a fannish journal is the place to talk them out.  I've got another journal set up and prettified to use as a personal journal.

But I've realized that I like reading your personal stuff (slice of life, or personal struggle, or lunch today) as much as I like your fannish stuff.  Maybe more.

So how do y'all do it?  One journal?  Two?  Three?

And do you like to keep your fannish place fannish, so you can use it as a fun place to escape to?  Or do you like a mix of fan and real?

Tell me about your journaling selves.

Comments

[logovo.livejournal.com]

I don't talk about personal stuff as much as I used to or as much as I would like, but I do see a few people trying to keep more than one journal, to separate the fannish from the personal. However, I don't see it working for anyone very well. Things just filter through and I see that people end up with one LJ that they favor over the other(s).

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

You're one of the people that made me think twice about totally separating the two, because I really love the mix of fannish comment and personal vignettes you post. Makes me smile.

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

My real life sort of blurred into my fannish journal a long time ago. It all goes on this lj. I do have a separate lj for fic-posting purposes (because people I work with know about this lj, and I really would rather the casual, non-fandom types not be able to find the NC-17 NSYNC stories with a single click--if they're going to bring it up in a staff meeting, they at least should have had to have worked for it), one that's not locked at all, but I don't friend anyone on it. Everyone I want to keep up with is on this lj, but I do use posting filters. (Reading filters, too, but that's mostly so the fic comms don't overwhelm my 'let's pop on and see what's up' reading breaks during the day.) People tend to friend me because of the fic, even on this lj, which is fine, I don't mind at all, but I try to keep the people who get blasted with the 'OMG, I'm going to need a lawyer once I get my hands on my husband/boss/kid' posts to a minimum.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

*grins* I like your "I'm going to need a lawyer" posts.

Actually, I'm in awe of your "husband/house/job/company's coming/writing/dual science fair projects" posts. (OMG, woman, when do you sleep?)

I think I'm feeling pulled in a couple of different directions. I was partly wanting to write to figure out how I'm feeling; I tend to internalize a lot, which usually just leaves me going around in circles in my head. I've realized that that kind of writing needs to happen in a separate, safe space. Which doesn't mean that everything personal needs to happen in a separate, safe space. And, for those on the flist who really only want some fannish, escapist glee, LJ-cut is my friend.

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

heh. I have one resolution this year--to get 8 hours of sleep per night...

um. It's not exactly working out. But I'm thinking about it!

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

So many changes in everyone's life this time of year, huh?

As you know, one journal is quite enough for me. :-) I friendslock anything personal, though even those posts mostly have to do about LJ. LJ is kind of an angst-free zone for me, mostly for squee or escapism so I don't have many details about RL there.

I like to hear about people's slice-of-life stuff too sometimes. But mostly I like LJ for fan stuff because I do not really have the fan outlet in RL. Your journal is yours, it can be fannish only, personal only or a mixture of both. Whatever you feel comfortable with. I know I'll find it interesting either way.

Oh, and some people have a whole separate blog for personal stuff. I have a handwritten journal that I quasi keep up with. Too many could get unwieldy, right?

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

I think maybe cut-tagging is the way to go, so anyone who's having a day where they need to be angst-free can skip over it, but I haven't decided for sure (I do have that second journal set up...).

But mostly I like LJ for fan stuff because I do not really have the fan outlet in RL.

I am very, very lucky to live with another fan. We don't always have the same tastes (I like vids, she doesn't), but she gets it.

I have a handwritten journal

I find paper and pen writing to be weirdly intimidating. Like, once it's on paper, I can't change my mind.

I know I'll find it interesting either way.

*g* Thank you.

[cold-poet.livejournal.com]

Well, you've seen that I have my non-lj blog where I talk about things completely non-fannish. But I also occasionally post personal things to my LJ, because *my friends* are there, and sometimes I just want them to know stuff.

A good number of my LJ friends post both to one journal, which is great. And some have separate journals. Which is also great.

It basically comes down to what you're most comfortable with. Maybe flock personal stuff? But either way I would love to read about your personal life. *G* because I am NOSY NOSY NOSY. \o/

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

You're one of the few people who seems to be juggling two journals successfully. Because I am also NOSY NOSY NOSY *g*, I am reading them both.

I think part of my frustration at the moment is that I'm not feeling excited about anything fannish at the moment. There are a few authors who I'll always be thrilled to see post, but mostly I'm kind of "meh." RL, on the other hand, is in this weird mix of overload and stasis (we will be moving soon; she will be leaving soon; I'm done with chemo, so now we wait five years to see if it worked), and I'm not sure myself what all I'm feeling.

Still, I'm just starting to make friends online, and I don't want to chase away the "strictly fannish" new friends ("meh" won't last forever). I'm thinking cut-tag the personal stuff here, if it gets longish--I want the personal connection, but that lets those who don't skip it; but find/make a separate, safe space for the therapeutic writing.

(LOL. My solution looks a lot like your solution. Must be something to that!)

[trascendenza]

I tried compartmentalizing into a personal journal, a fannish journal, a fic community, an icon community, and a recs community. Too much stuff, OMG!

Having compartmentalized to the extreme, I'm now drawing back and wanting to post all at one journal again. The main issue for me is that a lot of the people I have friended on my personal journal are people I know in RL and who sort of... hmm... already know my backstory? Whereas most fannish people I've met are mainly here for the fandom and don't know that random person in highschool I might feel like rambling about. There are issues with audiences having context and understanding what I'm talking about, but I want to worry about it less, because I think if I'm liberal with the LJ-cut, people will be able to read according to what interests them. I know that for some journals I really like getting to know the people behind the fannishness, and often keep people on my radar long after we've parted fannish ways because of that personal aspect.

[gracecourage.livejournal.com]

I've actually been thinking a lot about that post of yours where you talked about this. I was floored (in a good way) at how much of yourself you put out there. (Thank you for the song, BTW. It-- Hurt so good, is the best I can come up with.)

I've really liked reading about your personal stuff (and that of the others on my small-but-growing flist). I find myself thinking of it randomly during the day ("Hm, I wonder what logovo had for lunch today? Did Sheera get to that music store, and what were those wands?")

I'm finding that I also like reading the squee about fandoms I'm not in. Even if I can't share the excitement about that story, I know what it feels like to find something fannishly exciting, and I'm vicariously pleased.

I'm just not feeling particularly jazzed about anything fannish myself at the moment. I know that something sparkly will come along, and I will be again. In the meantime, RL is on overload. *shrugs*

(Oh, how I wish the bandslash did it for me; I'm having so much fun watching y'all and I want to come play, but it just doesn't push the right buttons. I don't want to eroticize those boys, I want to mother them--wrong energy for the slash.)

So, I'm thinking, like you, that cut-tags are the way to go. Then I don't have to worry that I'm spamming those who just need a little fun and escapism, but I can stay connected to the ones who like that, too.