Not Bad.

I am grateful for purple.



Twelve purple pictures here. (This is a random sampling of picture results from a Google Image search for "purple.")

Dear Fanfic Writer,

Homophones aren't synonyms. Just sayin'.

(If nipples can be taught, the world is an even stranger place than I think it is.)

(Three separate fanfics. Three.)


ETA: An apostrophe in the title. Because one shouldn't make cracks about the incorrect use of language by others when one is using it incorrectly oneself. Oops.

Found on Reel Grrlz:




Can't. Stop. Smiling.

Tuition & Fees: $39,923

My Financial Aid Award: $31,080

Difference: $8,843

So close and yet so far.

The financial aid includes the maximum amount of student loans, so I can't (and shouldn't for the safety of my future) borrow more. I can work part time while attending to cover my living expenses, so it's just the fees at issue.

Any ideas from the peanut gallery? Anybody know someone who might know someone who wants to support a returning student? --a fine arts/media student (that's the Bachelors)? --a woman in tech (plus one for the Masters)? --a cancer survivor?

There's gotta be something out there....

Who lovers -- I mainlined Torchwood recently, but have never seen any Doctor Who. Can I jump in with New Who, or should I backtrack and start with Ten? Or Nine, even?

ETA OK, so on the one hand I'm complaining about not having enough time, and on the other I'm asking which TV to watch next. *headdesk* In my own defense, can I say that (1) I ♥ Netflix, and (2) TV is my Weekend? *facepalm*

Anybody local miss that denise is going to be in town during 3W4DW, and mark's organizing a meet-up? (Bart accessible, for those of us without cars.)

Is it silly that I was excited to find the paid account renewal notice for Dreamwidth in my inbox? It's been a year!

I'm always tickled when I click on a fannish link and find a Dreamwidth account on the other side -- which is happening more and more often. I find myself using Dreamwidth as my primary reading site, and I really only click over to LJ when the posting action on DW is slow. I haven't been doing much posting or commenting lately because my crazy commute is eating all my time, but I still check in here (even if only briefly) to unwind at the end of my day.

It's crazy o'clock in the morning now, but I'm so excited to see all of the goodies being posted for 3W4DW. I can't wait to read.

I'm also committing to posting and commenting more for the next 3 weeks, regardless of time issues, because -- WOO-HOO! -- Happy 1 Year Open Beta Anniversary, everybody!

My kid is graduating from Berkeley this year. (Woo-HOO!!!)

My mission is complete. Which means I need a new mission, because getting her to the point she's at has been my reason for getting up and going to my shitty job for a couple of decades. It's getting harder and harder to get up and go.

( So I'm going to try and get my butt back in school. )

So, anybody know of any scholarships? Know anybody who might know?

I haven't really posted in close to 6 months. I've been in a (much needed) introspective and re-evaluative place, parsing out where, at this time of my live, the differences are between who I say I am (to myself and others) and who I actually am. (I've kept for years a book I didn't love because I do love and am haunted by something it says on the cover: "What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?")

I am dealing with rage, mountains and mountains of rage, most of it decades old, most of it related to how a girl child was treated in my family, is treated in the world. ("What a gift your anger is," says my therapist. "Doesn't feel like much of a gift," says I. "Do you want to be what they want you to be?" "Oh, GOD, no." "Then the anger is a gift," says she.)

Through it all, as has been true for years, it's you guys who get me through. When I'm irritated with life, I come here. When I'm dissociative and having trouble staying fully in my body, I come here. When I need to relax, or laugh, or breathe, I come here.

I am surrounded here by people who are smart and articulate, who have intelligent opinions and aren't afraid to use them (even when they're not popular ones), who are gifted storytellers, or gifted with invective, or gifted at being honestly themselves. People who make me think and frown and laugh. People I admire.

I only use reading filters to screen out newsletters; my default view is every personal journal I've friended/subscribed to. If you're on my flist/in my circle, it's because I want to (and do) read what you have to say.

I maybe fangirl you a little, too.

I'm definitely thankful that you're there.

HAPPY U.S. TURKEY DAY, Y'ALL.

OK, the 24 hours I was going to be without internet turned into 10 days. But I'm moved, and I'm up! Whee!!!

Did I miss anything?

::g::

My stepdad used to say "God takes turns kicking everybody. Sometimes, it's just your turn to get kicked."

Those of you who've been on my flist for awhile probably won't be surprised to hear that I have a vested interest in the "warnings" discussion. I'm actually not triggered by most of the major triggers; I love non-con, and dub-con, have only lovely associations with anything BDSM related, and I hang out in Supernatural. so clearly incest in general isn't a problem for me. But there are certain other themes that most people do warn for that I will avoid (I have only been sideswiped three times in ten years of reading).

I will never, ever read a fic from an author I don't know when it's marked "Choose not to warn" unless it has been vetted in some way (I ♥ my del.icio.us network). But please understand that I am very, very grateful for that note.

None of this is why I'm posting.

I'm posting because I am furious at the number of (people I thought were) decent, caring folks who are referring to survivors of abuse and assault as "fragile, delicate, mentally ill." It brings out the Mother Bear in me.

We are some of the strongest people you know.

( Brief, mostly impersonal mentions of mental illness, assault, child abuse, suicidal impulses, drug use. A fair bit of foul language. )

ETA: a title to this puppy. Which is probably the real reason I don't write; I'd have to come up with titles